How to Have a Kind Heart – And Keep It

kind heart

Having a kind heart

Having a kind heart is a blessing and a burden. It gives us the capacity to love deeply and fully. To be kind and generous to others. But it also causes us to be extremely sensitive and easy to hurt. Over time you will need to choose if you want to continue to be kind in the face of adversity. Or you need to decide if it will make you hard, give you sharp edges and cause you to put up walls that keep others out.

Right now my nephew is going through a hard time because of this. He is transitioning from a boy into a teenager and the world is showing him her true colors. He has the kindest, sweetest heart of anyone that I know. He’s always thinking about others and what would make them happy. He gives his kind heart freely because that’s who he is. But because his heart is so big, it is also vulnerable. And he’s starting to see how unkind the world and people can be. So I want to write this article for him. And for anyone else out there who has the same kind heart and is maybe going through a bit of a tough time because of it.

“Not everyone will have the heart you have.

Not everyone will appreciate you and what you do for them.

It won’t be easy having a kind heart in a cruel world.

Be Prepared.”

What You Need to Know:

The people who are unkind need the most love

When someone is judgmental, cruel or mean to you in any way it is usually because they themselves are hurting. They are missing something in their lives that they need in order to be whole or feel loved. And I think this is terribly sad. Can you imagine a life where you felt like less? And the only way to make you feel like more was to hurt people around you? If you change your perspective on the situation it makes it easier to deal with. The reality is that whatever is happening to you, is not really about you. It’s about the other person.  It doesn’t make what happens to you hurt any less, but it should take some of the pressure off you so that you aren’t sitting there blaming yourself.

You are one person, do what you can do

There is a lot of injustice in this world. As much as we want to believe we can save everyone, it probably isn’t going to happen. So what do you do if you want to help? Everyone has special gifts and talents. Use what you have been given.

For example, I’m not a big activist or organizer on a large scale.  So I looked at myself and was really honest about what I had to offer. What I found is that I’m good at helping people. I’m good at being supportive of others and helping them direct their energy properly so they can get where they need to go. I also have the ability to remain non-judgmental in situations where many others cannot.  Because of this I can empower people to be the best versions of themselves. That’s my gift. Each person I reach goes out into the world and has the ability to be inspired and inspire others. By simply letting my light shine I make a difference. If we all do the same imagine how bright this planet can be.

Know when to walk away

You should always stand up for yourself. Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle because the light is too bright for their eyes. That’s their problem not yours. However you do have to know when standing up is not going to get you anywhere. And that’s the hard part. You feel so angry by how someone has wronged you that you forget there are times you just need to just let it go. There are people in this world that are in such a state of lack that they cannot be stopped. No matter what you say, how well you argue a point or even the simple fact of how terribly wrong they are will not make a difference. All it does is continue to add frustration and drama to your life and give them more excuses and ammunition in which to continue their abuse. In the wise words of Kenny Rogers “Know when to hold em. Know when to fold em.”

Don’t forget to love yourself

Some of us big hearted people often forget to put ourselves in the equation. I mention this because I see it quite often. If your heart doesn’t balance where it places love, you may be putting others before yourself which is something that needs to be corrected. If you find yourself feeling walked on, make sure you do a self-check to see where and how you are expending yourself.  A great rule of thumb my best friend told me once goes something like this:

If they offer you gold, offer them gold.

If they offer you silver, offer them silver.

If they offer you bronze, offer them bronze.

The important thing to get out of this quote is that any relationship needs to be equal in order to function properly. It cannot be one sided or heavy ended or it will only last so long. Just because you are kind and want to help people, don’t immediately jump in and go overboard. See how they treat you and reciprocate accordingly. This way you will not feel taken advantage of and you draw clear boundaries. You can’t help anyone with their oxygen mask if you can’t get yours on first.

If you’re one of the many people out there with a kind heart, please know that you aren’t alone. There are many of us out here that are fighting the same battle every day. Be strong, be yourself and show love whenever possible. The world needs a whole lot more of that.