Who Am I Really?
So often in life we lack the understanding to see ourselves for who we really are. When is it time for you to get away from the noise and truly discover yourself? Many of us are highly invested in this journey of self-awareness right now. So many in fact, that we’ve seen a large number of individuals upending their entire lives to travel cross country, leave jobs they desperately hate and acquire new lifestyles that feel better suited to them. But are they running away from themselves or towards them?
What makes up an individual isn’t the way they dress, the kind of music they like or how they take their coffee. It has nothing to do with what other people say or think about them. It doesn’t even matter what you think about yourself because our ego likes to get in the way of the truth every time. It goes so much deeper than all of that. Unfortunately, that’s why so many individuals struggle to discover who they are. They’re searching for it in the wrong place!
One of the most important questions we need to ask when we struggle to see who we are and what we have to offer is: Where do our values originate from and how are they integrated into our daily life? The degree with which you imbue your values into your lifestyle will help you more accurately grasp the concept of who you are. This will also show you more about the driving forces inside of you. As well as how this translates to your purpose in the outside world. Understanding what’s important to you and why, is a major defining factor in seeing yourself more fully.
Here’s where things get tricky
What if you don’t’ really know what your values are? Well, then it’s high time you figure it out. Values are the roadmap of your entire life, starting with who you are as a person. Values also keep you in alignment. They help you make good decisions for yourself. They show you where your boundaries are. They facilitate healthy family and social relationships. And they determine whether or not your life is easier or more difficult than it needs to be.
Tips for finding your values
The best way to find your values is to look at how you move through the world. Things you tend to dislike can go against your values. While others that make you feel happy or satisfied, can be more in alignment with them.
Everyone has different values, so for this portion of the program you can’t cheat or look at your neighbor’s paper. It’s about connecting with yourself on an honest and unbiased level. And taking the time and the courage to write down and accept what’s most important to you. Sometimes this can be difficult. Especially if your values might not be in line with your family and society. Or are things that not everyone can easily accept. This doesn’t mean you can or should change them, but you might have to learn how to own your choices in no uncertain terms.
For example, not everyone has money, looks or youth as a value. In fact, for many people this can be seen as shallow or vain. But your values are your values. If they’re important to you, then you’ll have to find a way to embrace them. Otherwise, you’ll never be able to live a life that isn’t trying to push back at you in every corner. Feel free to make adjustments as necessary if you don’t actually like that certain things are important to you. It’s always ok to change your mind or grow into a new version of yourself. But don’t be afraid to accept yourself as is and go from there.
Questions to ask yourself
If you’re feeling stuck on how to get to the bottom of what your values are, try asking yourself the following questions:
- What situations make me angry? This will show you where your values are probably the complete opposite of the one’s are being presented.
- Which people in your life have been significant to you over the years. What made them special to you and why? Chances are, they have a similar value set to your own.
- Make a list of the things your feel passionate about. Then look inside them to pull out your values. Investigating why something is important to you is a good place to start.
- Think back to a meaningful moment in your life. By identifying why this moment was important to you, you will be able to uncover some more of your values.
Values can change when we apply them to different areas of our life. While it’s important to have a strong set of core values, there needs to be some flexibility built into them. This is because our financial sector may have different requirements than our friendship or children sector. Paring things down on a more intricate level can fine tune our values on an even higher level.
Don’t feel like you have to jump into defining all of your values everywhere all at once. Even if you have a core set in place, that’s enough to get you going in the right direction.
Creating a life that works
The application of your values is really the key to your whole journey. Unfortunately, it’s also the part that requires the most effort. If you would like to evaluate how closely you are living in alignment with your values, look at your life in sections. Then go over each section and ask yourself how you are either being true to your values, or sacrificing them in order to continue on your current path. Sections can be things like:
Health, Work, Relationships, Career, Spirituality, Children, and Relaxation/Down Time.
When we sacrifice our values, we are essentially betraying ourselves. We are saying that whatever we are doing is more important than how we feel or what we believe. Eventually this lack of alignment can cause a lot of disruption in our lives as well as internal stress and turmoil. That’s why values are so important and why we need to be incorporating them on a daily basis.
When you make a decision or take action, ask yourself if what you’re doing is in alignment with your values. The same is true of how you talk to others. Whether it is a quick hello or a more in-depth conversation. Values are literally everywhere! By using them to guide us, we can create a life that feels fulfilling and enjoyable. Now that’s not to say if you live by your values, you’ll never have a bad day again. However, it will give you the ability to effectively move through any difficult moments with grace. Simply because you know who you are and are, and are in tune with the kind of person you want to be.