I Said What I Said
Having a good Connection with Yourself is super important. And part of that connection means having and setting boundaries. Sometimes it might be saying no to something that drains your time and energy. Other times it’s about saying NO to something you don’t like or that makes you uncomfortable. Either way, learning to say no can be tough sometimes.
It becomes even more difficult when our “no” is disrespected. When someone can’t see past their own feelings to understand they are making another person uncomfortable. When they can’t comprehend why someone else’s choice would be different than theirs – not great things start happening.
A disrespected NO can look like:
• Saying “Come on, just try it.”
• Aggressively talking or bullying you into changing your mind because they honestly believe they are helping you.
• Laughing and not taking you seriously.
• Continuing to push a boundary that makes you uncomfortable
• Becoming defensive or rude to ease the discomfort they feel from your refusal to accept something they do not see a problem with.
• Getting upset with you because you’re not giving them what they want.
These reactions to our “no” can make it hard to speak up for ourselves. And much easier to go along with something we dislike in order to avoid judgment or pushback. But not standing our ground means we’re doing ourselves a big disservice. It’s putting us out of alignment with who we are!
NO is a Complete Sentence
Whether you don’t want to try someone’s drink or you’re not interested in going to the beach on Sunday; “NO” is a perfectly reasonable and valid answer to any request, offer or question. It doesn’t need to be rationalized. It doesn’t require an explanation. It simply needs to be verbalized and then accepted by the other party.
Please stop letting people make you feel bad about saying no and setting boundaries. You are allowed to express yourself and your feelings without anyone making you feel like you’re doing something wrong. If someone makes you feel bad and pushes the issue – that pretty much tells you everything you need to know.